Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Boobs are out for the taking
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
