im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
