omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
