she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it was like eating out sand paper
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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