Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think weed is turning my hair brown
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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