Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
