I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize