the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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