Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
