$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
