I cannot find my penis.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
