Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
