ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
