paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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