You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
