so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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