K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
