there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
