My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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