the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
