sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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