Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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