I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
