The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
