Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
