I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
