I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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