Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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