wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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