so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
