It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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