Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
