You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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