Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
