they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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