dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
