DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
