we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
