how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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