Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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