Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
