Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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