Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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