And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
