I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
