She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
