What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
