I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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