i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I understand Curling. That high.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
