Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
did i just pee glitter
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
