The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
