wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
