Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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