Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
