I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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