that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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