he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
