she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
