I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
