Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
