I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
