If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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