i just sent this text using only my big toe
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
