i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize