Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
